toxicating.com

Sometime in January we drove to the valley to buy a new vibrator; our favorite one had lost its intensity. We can never tell whether these toys eventually lose their mechanical buzz or our desire for a new high sets in and a new device needs to pop up.

I was in a pissy mood, weary from a marathon sex night, hungry, irritated at Deane and her spending habits (we had just been talking about saving, she had just bought a house), indifferent I strolled in the store; Deane would try to lighten me up showing outfits and the like, and I would do my best to turn her off. Then she decided to ignore me. That’s when she saw them inside the glass display: tiny bottles wrapped in yellow labels. Rush Poppers.

We asked the fat black attendant what they were and how they had to be used. She said she couldn’t tell us, the bitch. But Deane was smiley and said “ok, we’ll take two, and also that vibrator.” I did a number at the counter, requesting new batteries to test the toy and saying that it wasn’t potent enough and blah blah. No one listened.Back at home, after eating I began feeling excited again, and went online to find out what these little bottles were. Liquid incense, the label said. I found out the original formulation is banned in the US and these Rush Poppers are specially designed for this country. Deane didn’t care what the Internet had to show, “we would use a piece of cloth full of it and cover our nose, it would send us high pretty fast”, she recalled. “This site says it is very popular among gay men, it relaxes their asses and makes orgasms unbelievable”, I said.

We had another marathon event that night and we tried the poppers. What someone had said was true: when sniffed at the right moment, one does not enjoy sex; one becomes sex itself.

I began meekly, just one intake and didn’t feel much but a slight burning in the back of my head. Deane, of course, snuffled three or four times and exclaimed “oh my, I can feel it!”, and had to sit on the bed. Its effect is ephemeral, and she kept sniffing.

This is what it does: after you take a good deep breath of it, a flaring rush travels from the core of the body to the legs, arms, head and sets you on a fleeting state of absolute relaxation, your hard-on threatens to falter so you use all your remaining energy to come at that very flickering moment. If you succeed, you will know what one of the forms of extreme pleasure is about. Then you cannot move nor articulate any thoughts.

I wonder if it massacres brain cells.